Highlights from a Star Wars Fan's Epic Takedown of The Force Awakens "Plot Holes"

Monday, 11 January 2016 - 10:00AM
Star Wars
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Monday, 11 January 2016 - 10:00AM
Highlights from a Star Wars Fan's Epic Takedown of The Force Awakens "Plot Holes"
Star Wars: The Force Awakens was a great movie, so naturally there's been some blowback pointing out that it's not a perfect movie. Which is all very well and good, nothing is perfect and it's great to have a critical eye on everything, but sometimes people criticize just for the sake of criticizing--and sometimes people haven't even watched the movie they're critiquing. Star Wars megafan Matty Granger's epic, profanity-laced response to Huffington Post's 40 Unforgivable Plot Holes in Star Wars: The Force Awakens has gone viral, and as it turns out, most of the plot holes are not only forgivable, they're not plot holes at all.

A few of Matty's arguments boil down to "we'll find out in the sequels," which is probably true for most of them, although technically those are still plot holes for this movie. And many of the Huffington Post's entries were subjective quibbles that shouldn't be called plot holes, they're just opinions, like "How lame is Han's attempt to convert his son?" and "How pissy is it of Luke to (a) abandon the Resistance, and then (b) leave an obnoxiously coy trail of bread-crumbs to sort of (but not really) help people find him (at some unspecified time)?" It's his right as a reviewer to have negative opinions about developments in the film, but those just straight up aren't plot holes.

But the most entertaining part of Matty's post are the entries in which the reviewer is just patently, obviously wrong to anyone who actually watched the movie--and there are a lot of them. Here are some highlights of Matty's post:

To blow up the 120-km "Death Star" in Star Wars, the rebels needed detailed plans for the base and a full-scale invasion force -- as well as the supernatural targeting skills of the most powerful Force-user in the galaxy.
Yes they did. And in the Force Awakens, the hastily thrown together plan formulated by the Resistance to possibly, maybe cripple the Starkiller Base…FUCKING FAILS. Poe Dameron and his squadron have pulled out and are actually leaving the planet when they see that the target they couldn't even dent has been damaged from the inside. They then turn around and manage one last, desperate run. I don't want to hit this too hard on the nose, but you would've noticed this had you actually watched the movie.

Kylo Ren, a powerful Force-user, fights a light saber duel with an ex-janitor who has never held a light saber.
Actually, the "ex-janitor", Finn got his ass handed to him. He lasted about thirty seconds against Kylo Ren. Not only that, but he ended up sliced open and left for dead. What the fuck are you talking about?
But let's entertain this dumb-ass statement a little more. First off, Finn was a Stormtrooper assigned to sanitation, much like other Stormtroopers would've been assigned to various departments around the base. Nowhere in this movie is it said that Finn was a janitor. Not once. And how does he hold his own in combat against Kylo Ren for as long as he does? I'd hazard a guess that Finn was trained in the same fashion as the badass, laser-baton wielding Stormtrooper he fights at Maz Kanata's castle. Setting up the Stormtrooper skill-set is the whole point of showing that fight. Which incidentally, is actually the first time he holds a lightsaber, not when he fights Kylo. Learn why scenes are in movies, dude. It'll help you not make embarrassing statements like this.

Rey becomes nearly as effective a Force-user in a few hours as Luke Skywalker did in a few years.
Yeah. Makes you wonder why doesn't it? Kinda feels like we're being set up for something in the future. I wonder if we'll ever find out about her mysterious past and her mystical connection to the Force and Luke Skywalker? If you don't understand that this is set-up for future films, then you should have your Netflix password taken away from you.

Like I said, technically this can be called a "plot hole" for this film, and has been a very common criticism for The Force Awakens. But I agree with Matty that it's fairly obvious this will be explained in future films, and plus, we've only seen a few individuals go through training. Most people claim there is an inconsistency by comparing Rey to Luke, but let's be real, Rey is way cooler and tougher than Luke ever was.

Just minutes before Starkiller Base explodes, Supreme Leader Snoke tells Hux to go get Kylo Ren and take him off the planet. Unfortunately, Ren had recently (unbeknownst to Hux) run into the woods like a lunatic, leaving no information about his whereabouts. It's no problem, though, because Hux apparently has special Kylo Ren GPS.
Or the powerful Force user Snoke closes his eyes for two seconds and tells Hux exactly where Kylo is. Unless of course that power is reserved for first-time Force users like Leia when trying to find her brother who's hanging from a twig on the under-side of Cloud City. Don't make me use the Original Trilogy against you, dude. That shit's just wrong.

The reason Ren was slowly bleeding to death -- instead of being dead by Rey's hand -- is that a massive a chasm had just miraculously opened up in the several feet between the two of them. Such bad timing for Rey! (Damn you, deus-ex-geology!)
I'd call it more of a "Deus-ex-unstable-planet-collapsing- after-the-stored-power-of-a-sun-started-tearing-it-apart-from-the-inside-as-laid-out-by-the-plot", but that's just me. And as far as the awesome symbolism of a chasm forming between two people goes, I'd probably call it 'a little on the nose' before I called it a plot hole, especially considering that it was one of many chasms that opened during their fight that they managed to evade.

It's okay that Poe survived a Tie Fighter crash; after all, so did Finn.
Finn was miles away, strapped into an ejector seat with a spent parachute strewn out behind him. Poe stated he woke up that night and didn't know where he was (probably strapped to ANOTHER EJECTOR SEAT). Here's a hint when it comes to watching movies. Use the parts you know to fill in the parts you don't know. That's not a writing lesson. That's a watching lesson.

What is all this nonsense about the First Order only wanting to destroy the Republic because the Republic is supporting the Resistance?
Only because of the Resistance? Hux SCREAMS a Hitler-like proclamation to his men that the galaxy's systems will fall in line with the First Order after the corrupt Republic and it's massive fleet are destroyed. Watch the movie, dude.

Kylo Ren is the head of the Knights of Ren, but there are no other Knights of Ren in the movie.
Except for the six guys you see in Rey's vision. Idiot.

Really? Was there no previous order Finn had ever refused to execute?
The Jakku raid was his first mission. It's in his dialogue. "In my first battle I made a choice. I wasn't going to kill for them". Prior to that he was standing around the sanitation department wondering when he was going to get his next pee break. What order was he going to refuse on moral grounds in the sanitation department? It's getting tiresome to keep saying it, but watch the movie.

Finn is an ex-janitor who goes AWOL from a Stormtrooper force numbering in the tens of thousands. Yet he is absolutely convinced, despite being someone of no importance whatsoever to the First Order, that he will be chased across the galaxy for having defected.
And breaking a high-value prisoner out of the brig. And stealing a Tie Fighter. And blowing up a few dozen guys. And shooting up the landing bay of a Star Destroyer. Not to mention helping return the droid the First Order is scouring the galaxy for to the Resistance. All things considered, I think he has a pretty good reason to believe what he does. Also, he's not a janitor. Just thought I'd remind you. Again.

Kylo Ren has such a Force-enabled sense of where his father is in the Galaxy that when his father lands on Starkiller Base, Ren immediately exclaims to himself, "Solo!" Yet a few minutes later, when Ren is just twenty feet from Solo, he can't detect him -- and actually starts searching for him in the wrong direction.
Hold on a second. If you were watching the movie, you'd have seen that Kylo Ren marches into that giant room with eight Stormtroopers, looks around with the force and says, "Find them". He knows good and goddamn well that Solo is in there and like a good villain, he leads Han onto that bridge to trap him out in the open, alone and defenseless. If you can't see that, I don't know what to tell you.

Why do Rey and Finn just stand by watching as Ren murders Han?
You mean like the way Luke watched Ben Kenobi get sliced in half from just a few feet away, let alone several hundred? No idea.

Luke watching Ben Kenobi get murdered is a little different, since that was in the middle of a lightsaber fight (although there's probably still nothing he could have done). But Rey and Finn didn't "stand by watching" while Ren attacked Han; it's not like he slowly beat him to death. It was a sudden, instantaneous murder in a moment when everyone (including Han) thought things were going fairly well, as discussions with murderers go. Again, not really a plot hole. Maybe naive on Han's part in a way that's consistent with his character, but not a plot hole.

Rey says that the Millennium Falcon is "garbage" and hasn't been flown in many, many years. Indeed, it's such junk, in her view, that she won't even board it when she's about to be ripped to pieces by twenty Tie Fighters. Then she gets on board and it basically flies perfectly.
First off, it was two TIE Fighters not twenty... If you really want to say that Falcon starts on the first turn of the key and flies perfectly, you must not have been watching when thing crashed and smashed its way into the air, stalled out, had its belly gun lock up, malfunctioned to a point where it was in danger of spewing poison gas or the fact that Rey had to yank parts out of it with alarms blaring all over the place just to keep the hyperdrive from overloading. Yeah. Ran like a champ.

Why does Plutt offer Rey 250 times her usual pay for BB-8 and then, when she says "no," simply tell some of his heavies to just steal it?
We don't know Unkar Plutt's connection yet. I assure you there is one. A big one. He has likely been given the task to keep her on the planet at all costs, yet make sure she's able to survive. When he sees her with the droid, he sees the threat and must act. His first move is to give her more food than she has ever had. When that fails, he resorts to sending in the goons. We are not done with Unkar Plutt.

Also, it seems fairly obvious that 250 times Rey's usual pay is a pittance to Unkar Plutt, as her character is an impoverished scavenger and she's clearly being taken advantage of. It makes sense that Plutt would offer her a little bit of money that doesn't matter to him, but matters a whole lot to her, before resorting to violence, which is inconvenient.

Who trained Rey to fight with a staff as effectively as she does, given that (a) she is an orphan with no friends or family, and (b) she has never been in a battle, but is, rather, merely a scrap-metal scavenger?
Dude. Wander down to the poorest part of whatever town you're in and pick a fight with a mangy little mutt of a guy. The smaller the better. Once you're out of the hospital, you'll realize that people who are forced to survive in the harshest environments don't train to fight. They learn the hard way and they get really, really good at it.

It's almost like movies want us to use our imaginations.

If Finn is such a good guy that he would try to save Rey the moment he saw she was in distress?
Actually, he ran right over to her, but by the time he got there, she had handed the thugs their asses. What movie were you watching? Nice phrasing on the question, by the way.

Given that all Poe knows about Finn is that he's a First Order defector, why does he seem happy to see Finn just seconds after (and perhaps as) BB-8 tells him Finn is alive?
I don't know. Maybe Finn saved his life and completed his mission for him? I'd be sorta stoked to see the guy too.

How do the Rathtars on Han's freighter get loose?
Rey in an attempt to throw some fuses to close the doors between Han and the two gangs, hits the wrong fuse and instead opens the Rathar cages. She even has dialogue about it. WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE!

Why do the Rathtars immediately kill every human they encounter -- except Finn, who is randomly dragged off just long enough to be rescued?
A Rathar dragged off another guy just before Finn was dragged away. I guess you were too busy not watching the movie to notice.

If basically everyone in the Galaxy knows the Force is not a myth -- for instance, every single Stormtrooper in the First Order, who has seen Kylo Ren use it or heard tell of him using it; every single person in the Resistance, who knows the Resistance is looking for Luke Skywalker; every single person in the Republic, which was first established in part by the heroism of the Jedis -- how is the existence of the Force a total shock to Rey?
What the fuck are you talking about? The second she hears the name Luke Skywalker she lights up like a Christmas tree. All Han does is confirm that the stories that have trickled down to this completely uneducated girl, who lives alone on a planet inhabited by thirty people, are absolutely true.

Yeah... it's been well-established throughout the series that people don't believe that the Force really exists. The movies focus on certain Force sensitive individuals, but anyone outside of those circles doesn't believe in the Force. See: Han in the entire original trilogy.
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Star Wars: The Force Awakens

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