Honest Trailer for Godzilla Almost Misses Easiest Joke

Wednesday, 10 September 2014 - 11:19AM
Godzilla
Wednesday, 10 September 2014 - 11:19AM
Honest Trailer for Godzilla Almost Misses Easiest Joke

Seriously? We're not going to talk more about how ridiculous this chubby version of Godzilla looks?

 

[Credit: Screen Junkies]

 

Gareth Edwards's take on the legendary monster undeniably had its strengths. It was entertaining, stylish, atmospheric, and at times genuinely scary, especially when it employed the Jaws technique of revealing a little bit of Godzilla at a time. It also boasted an extremely talented cast of Bryan Cranston, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, and Ken Watanabe, although they were mostly wasted on two-dimensional characters. Olsen was relegated to the thankless "wife" role, while Watanabe was a token Asian character as an uncomfortable "homage" to Godzilla's Japanese roots. This honest trailer lambasted the film for wasting the cast, as well as tokenizing Watanabe, which gave them an opportunity to compile one of their classic "stare montages."

 

But mostly, they complained about the lack of screentime for the titular monster. This is a legitimate and common complaint, as Godzilla only appears for eleven minutes in a movie that lasts over two hours. Here's a supercut of his pitiful amount of screentime:

 

[Credit: John Nemesis]

 

But they almost failed to mention that once you do see him, he's not scary. I was scared of him when I could only see his scales or teeth, but once you see him in his entirety, he looks like a big cuddly bear. Japanese fans were brutal in their appraisal, calling him "chubby and cute," "Marshmallow-Godzilla," and "couch potato Godzilla," as well as (correctly) likening him to a seal. Screen Junkies finally makes a reference to this at the end, crediting this version of Godzilla as "Real Kaiju Have Curves."

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