5 Times Captain America Was So 'Merica It Hurt

Saturday, 04 July 2015 - 11:27AM
Saturday, 04 July 2015 - 11:27AM
5 Times Captain America Was So 'Merica It Hurt
< >
Few super heroes symbolize America better than Captain America. Actually, we take that back. No super hero symbolizes America better than Captain America. America's in his name! His costume is the American flag! His existence as a hero is a testament to American ingenuity! So in honor of Independence Day, we thought now would be a good time to go over a few of those many times when Captain America was so American it almost hurt.

So grab a hot dog, crack open a Budweiser, and put on "America the Beautiful" because it's about to get awfully patriotic in here.

Punching Hitler

We might as well start at the beginning. America's first look at Captain America was on the cover of Captain America #1, where he's seen punching Adolf Hitler in his tiny mustachioed face. If there was one thing Americans wanted to do in 1941, it was punch Hitler in the face. In Cap's very first issue, he shows off America's willingness to defend herself and punish evildoers, and evildoers don't get any more evil than Hitler.

Cap's words to live by: "Here's where I settle a few accounts for Uncle Sam!"

Joining the Avengers

In 1963, the Avengers revive Captain America after he's been frozen in ice for nearly 20 years. Instead of taking a little time to track down old girlfriends or try and figure out what TVs and microwaves are, what does Cap do? He immediately gets right back to work, joining the team and soon becoming its leader. You can thank his good old-fashioned American work ethic for that.

Cap's words to live by: "It's like old times again, being in costume—on the trail of some strange, unknown menace! This is what I was meant to do!"

Infinity Gauntlet

During the Infinity Gauntlet event, Cap was the last of Earth's heroes left standing after Thanos killed everyone else. But he didn't turn his tail and run. Far from it. Cap decided to take on the God-like Thanos all by himself, despite knowing deep down that he couldn't win, because Americans never give up in the face of adversity. If we did, we'd all be speaking German right now (see entry one: Cap punches Hitler).

Cap's words to live by: "As long as one man stands against you, Thanos, you'll never be able to claim victory." 

When he Quit Being Captain America

Nothing says being an American like quitting. Just kidding, but when Steve Rogers quit being Captain America he did it for the most American reason of all: FREEDOM. That's right, when the U.S. Government decided that Captain America was their property, Cap said thanks, but no thanks. He refused to sacrifice his freedom, and possibly his ideals, to blindly follow orders, learning that freedom isn't always free. It costs exactly one shield and one uniform. And maybe a buck o' five.

Cap's words to live by: "I represent the American Dream. The freedom to strive to become all that you dream of being. Being Captain America has been my American Dream."

Food Endorsements

Now that Captain America is a major movie star, those endorsement deals have been pouring in. As a result, Cap's presence has now graced such unhealthy and delicious items as Dr. Pepper, Doritos, and Dunkin' Donuts, killing two bald eagles with one stone: Those colossal pillars of American identity that are shameless capitalism and gluttonous obesity! But hey, nobody said America was perfect. Happy Independence Day, everyone!

Cap's words of wisdom: "You can't resist the powerful pull of the new Captain America Coolatta® beverage & donut. Get yours today."
Science Fiction
Comic Book News