Elon Musk Denies He's Starting a Zombie Apocalypse While Selling Flamethrowers
At this point, we're pretty sure that Elon Musk has shown his hand: his entire business plan is based around people telling him "Elon, you can't do that. That's stupid/impossible/insane." And then he goes and does it, and does it bizarrely well, just to prove them wrong. At this point, venture capitalists and investors are probably giving him money just to see what crazy, potentially revolutionary thing he'll do next. For now, we have Boring Company flamethrowers.
No, this isn't a joke, and yes, there's a video of one of the tech visionaries of our generation running at a camera-person with a lit space-age flamethrower and an insane gleam in his eye.
The genesis of the Boring Company flamethrower came about when Musk's bizarre little side-company (after SpaceX and Hyperloop) decided to start selling promotional hats. After running out of their 50,000 Boring Company hats, they promised, they'd start selling flamethrowers. Of course, since this was Elon Musk, no one knew if he was joking. Turns out, once again, he was definitely not joking. You can now pre-order a Boring Company flamethrower for $500 and a fire extinguisher for $30. In fact, according to Musk, they've already sold 7,000 of them, of a total stock of 20,000. That's $3.5 million worth of flamethrowers. Here's another video of the flamethrower in action:
But this isn't even the weirdest part of the story—Elon Musk has felt it necessary to clarify that he is not selling flamethrowers to capitalize on a zombie apocalypse that he might have in the works. According to his Twitter, "The rumor that I'm secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false. You'd need millions of zombies for a so-called "apocalypse" anyway. Where would I even get a factory big enough to make so many!?"
But even that isn't the weirdest part of this story about a company ostensibly based around underground transportation selling high-quality flamethrowers to the masses (while repelling accusations of apocalyptic plans). According to the official site, these flamethrowers are the "safest in the world," and Musk says they have a special feature: "But wait, there's more: the flamethrower is sentient, its safe word is "cryptocurrency" and it comes with a free blockchain."
Now it's up to you, science enthusiast: is Elon Musk joking, or is he selling sentient crypto-flamethrowers? Remember, the moment you say "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard", Musk will get an R&D team on the East Coast working on making it happen by Q2 next year.