One Toke Over the Line: Silicon Valley 'Mad Scientists' Have Built a $2,400 Laser-Powered Bong

Tuesday, 06 November 2018 - 1:34PM
Technology
Gadgets
Tuesday, 06 November 2018 - 1:34PM
One Toke Over the Line: Silicon Valley 'Mad Scientists' Have Built a $2,400 Laser-Powered Bong
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Instagram.com/lazerdabs
These days, Silicon Valley seems just as ripe for parody as it is for breakthrough technology, whether it's the "raw water" fad or the recent trend of keeping chickens as a status symbol. Of course, if there's one thing Silicon Valley tech geeks love more than expensive health foods, it's weed. California is now home to the US' largest legal market for pot, and all these futurists and visionaries need an appropriately high-tech way to blaze it up.

Enter Silicon Cali's revolutionary new product, the B-LAZE LaserBong.



It's exactly what you think it is: a glass bong that is powered by a laser. But why stop there? Its features include the ability to "control bowl rotation, lights, settings, and laser activation," an associated smartphone app, induction charging (and USB charging), and "turn key ignition," like a goddamn nuclear launch. The centerpiece, of course, is the 2W, 445Nm frequency laser, which the creator assured Motherboard is not capable of mutilating you: "The laser is not that dangerous, it's not going to cut your finger off or anything crazy like that," said Justin Zelaya, the founder of Silicon Cali."It may sting a little bit if you get your hand in the way but kind of like a magnifying glass."

The entire setup looks suspiciously like a microscope, with the user pressing their mouth to an aperture located where the eyepiece might be. In any case, a video came out earlier this year showing the bong in action, set (of course) to the theme music of Rick and Morty. According to Zelaya, he worked with five people to create the B-LAZE, with backgrounds ranging from "Bitcoin core developer to a mad scientist, like myself."



Silicon Cali has announced that they're only producing 45 of these "laserbongs", so make sure to put your order in fast. We all know how quickly Elon Musk's flamethrowers sold out.
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