Lust in Space: The Story of Five ~Sexually Experimental~ Geckos Lost in Space
The Russian Space Agency— Roscosmos— has lost contact with their six-ton Foton-M4 satellite, home to their Gecko Sex Lab, that they sent into orbit last week.
This means that there may be 5 able bodied geckos, carefully selected for their sexual appetites, floating around in a lab....in space. If anyone is observing us from a distant planet, they must wonder what the hell we are doing.
But it's actually not as bizarre of a story as you'd think. Last week, Roscosmos sent a video-monitored lab containing four female and one male gecko into orbit aboard their Foton-M4. The geckos are a part of an elaborate experiment meant to test out the effects that microgravity can have on procreation. Sounds silly, raunchy, or whatever— but it's actually an important area of study if we want the future of mankind to ever venture outside of our cozy sex-den that is earth's atmosphere.
Officially defined as a "study of the effect of microgravity on sexual behavior, the body of adult animals and embryonic development." The geckos were meant to spend two months out in space, procreating under watchful eyes of various video cameras before coming back down to earth to undergo more investigation on their subsequent health.
The good news, according to Russian news sources, is that the satellite "could continue to operate on it's own for a long time" and all systems other than the engine's communication with ground control are intact. "[S]pecialists are restoring stable connection with Foton and are providing for fulfillment of [the] planned orbital mission program" the Russian ITAR-TASS. And as far as the sex cadets go, "The equipment [...] is working in automatic mode, and in particular the experiment with the geckos is working according to the programme," Oleg Voloshin from Russia's Institute of Medico-Biological Problems. According to the BBC, experts have predicted that the satellite will be reached in about 4 months time.
Well, at least they've got plenty to keep them entertained while they wait.